The Complaining Heart

Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the LORD, and when he heard them his anger was aroused (Numbers 11:1).

I heard a story about a monk who joined a monastery and took a vow of silence. After the first ten years, his superior called him in and asked, “Do you have anything to say?” The monk replied “Food bad.” After another ten years the monk again had opportunity to voice his thoughts. He said, “Bed hard.” Yet another ten years went by, and again he was called in before his superior. When asked if he had anything to say, he responded, “I quit.” “It doesn’t surprise me a bit,” said his superior. “You’ve done nothing but complain ever since you got here.”

A humorous story, but seriously, it is easy to spiral into the complaining mode. It’s raining. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. I’m so tired of winter; I’m tired of this heat. My husband don’t . . . my wife won’t. On and on we fuss, grumbling about things we can’t change and things God doesn’t change.

It has been well said, “If He Who can does not, it is better so.” Meaning, if God doesn’t change our circumstances—we must trust that they don’t need to be changed—at least for the moment. They may change in God’s time—but not ours.

Jesus said, “You are the salt of the earth” (Matthew 5:13). Salt adds flavor. Salt also retards corruption. Perhaps in our world when we hear complaining we should make it our goal to retard the complaining spirit that is so prevalent. We could add “flavor” to the conversation and uplift the person who is bothered by the weather, an ingrown toenail, a tailgater—you get the picture.

One rainy day as I was shopping with one of my sisters, I began to notice how many people were complaining. The Lord had been speaking to my heart about negative words, so I was on guard and watchful in my spirit.

I was perplexed when a woman approached me in a major department store and began complaining about the weather. Her monologue soon spiraled into complaining about her son.

Apparently he did not live up to her expectations, and she gave me an earful. I couldn’t have gotten a word in if I had tried (no small feat I assure you). Eventually she cut off the conversation, leaving me completely baffled as to why she had confided in me—a total stranger—with such negative words about her son.

Grumbling often reminds me of the story of the Israelites. Through mighty miracles God delivered them from slavery in Egypt. Yet they had barely left Egypt when they began to complain (Exodus 14). They complained all the way through the desert—for forty years (Deuteronomy 1-2). We read the story and wonder why they didn’t just trust God. But then—do we?

The Israelites complained about the very essence of life: they were trapped at the edge of the Red Sea with the Egyptians rolling down upon them on horse drawn chariots; they had no water for three days; there was no meat to eat, and they grew tired of the taste of manna; the giants inhabiting the countryside were too big for their god!

On and on it went. Surely God would understand their dilemma. He didn’t understand—nor was He happy with their complaining and lack trust. In fact, He grew very weary of it (Numbers 11). He isn’t happy with our complaining either!

There are some powerful lessons God has taught me about complaining. I’ll share three of them with you:

Leave it with the Lord:
Many times when I pray for something, God is testing me (Exodus 15:25; 16:2-4). When I allow my heart to cry out against my circumstances, I run the risk of falling into discontentment and unbelief. God considers this complaining.

Therefore, when I pray, I am to leave my requests with God and depart His throne room with a quiet heart. He wants me to trust that He will answer in His time and in His way, doing His very best for me (Romans 8:28), and gaining glory for Himself (Exodus 15:1-21). How could I ask for more than that?

Be prepared for the desert:
God hears and answers my prayers, but rarely does He answer the way I anticipate. Many times when He answers, it sends me into the desert, where I must trust that He has a plan…

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered for a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast (I Peter 5:10).

The deserts of our lives are difficult and oftentimes painful. They require perseverance which grows us and gives us strength for our journey.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

Trust God for His answer:
It is our choice to trust God—or not. We are not to trust based on our feelings. Rather, our trust must be based upon the Word of God. We are not to take something to the Lord in prayer, then complain to friends as though the circumstance is arduous and cumbersome, and by doing so, try to manipulate God into answering our prayer—our way.

God gives us desires, wants, and hopes, then uses them to draw us to Himself in prayer. He wants to grant us wonderful things, but God’s wonderful things have His eternal plan in mind, not our temporal one.

As we look ahead, let’s do so with a heart purposed not to complain. Let’s look for ways to be salt and light to others; perhaps in doing so we can help check the spirit of complaining and negativity that seems to pervade our society. By doing so we will do that for which we were created—give God glory (Isaiah 43:7).

What about you, dear friend? How is your heart today? Are you trying to manipulate God by praying, then complaining to others in hopes that God will hear your complaint and answer your prayer in your time—instead of His? He has your eternal interests at heart.

Did you know that God had the very first tattoo, and it has your name on it?

“I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands” (Isaiah 49:15-16).

Peace or turmoil—it’s a choice!

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you (Isaiah 26:3).

Further Study
Numbers 11
Numbers 12
Numbers 14
Numbers 16
Numbers 17